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The first step in learning to control our thinking is to be aware of what is actually taking place. To do this we can draw from the meditation technique, although with this exercise we will not be meditating. Part of meditation is becoming aware of when we get caught up in our thoughts. We can extend this by becoming aware of what we are thinking throughout the day and evening.

Part of us needs to stand back and observe the whole process. All we need to do at this stage is to observe our thoughts. Don’t analyse them or interfere with them. Just watch them as they come tumbling in. Then bring the awareness to the body. Watch how our body responds to our thoughts and how in turn our thoughts respond to the symptoms. It isn’t the symptoms which create the fear. The way we think creates the fear, which creates the symptoms, which creates further thoughts, which creates further fear and the cycle continues.

Nor do we need to be thinking about the disorder or symptoms. Whatever we are thinking about is usually negative, the mental abuse, ‘I’m stupid, weak, hopeless’; the negative internal conversations; guilt; what we should have done, or shouldn’t have done. The overall result is the same-anxiety and attacks. When we see this relationship, we begin to see through the fear.

We need to become aware of the whole process of our thinking and our physical reaction to our thinking. We need to see how they build upon each other and create our symptoms.

If I ask people what they were thinking about before their last attack, they usually say that they weren’t thinking of anything. This is not so. They were thinking, they just weren’t aware of their thoughts. Asking the same question of people who feel continually anxious brings the same reply. They also are not aware.

We need to be aware of the relationship between our thoughts and our symptoms. When we see the relationship we will

understand why there is nothing to fear. The anxiety and the panic are a response to our thinking. We are simply frightening ourselves. Nothing more.

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Friends are saying, “That child is running your life.” Others are saying, “She will start sleeping better soon—just be patient.” Then you hear the dreaded “My child is three years old and still doesn’t sleep.” You think, that can’t happen to me! That won’t happen to me!

You are ready to make some changes. But you wonder…when is the best time to start working on it? When can I realistically expect my child to make some changes? The answer to the question “when” is a complex one and mu be examined on two levels: a child’s readiness and the parents’ readiness.

Child’s Readiness. Before you decide to change your child’s sleep behavior review her readiness. There are a few factors to consider.

Check developmental stage. Be certain that your expectations a appropriate for your child’s developmental level. Know what is considers “average” for your child’s age. For example, when you learn that most two year olds need a nap, you will feel more confident in expecting one. Although you can take preliminary, stage-setting steps beforehand, a child might not have the neurological maturity to sleep all night until he is six months old. Do not feel burdened by norms, but use them as guideposts.

Consider temperament. Personality or temperament should also be taken into consideration—especially during developmental upheaval, when getting through a typical day is a feat. Generally, this would not be a logical time to introduce new expectations.

Other factors. Never begin a new program when a child is ill or is dealing with other changes—for example, a new house or a new sibling. Try to consider the whole situation, but if there never seems to be a “right” time, ó may be making too many allowances. There will never be the perfect time; ó may just have to plunge in. Children are incredibly resilient and adaptable.

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Discomfort in the stomach felt beneath the ribs in the upper part of the abdomen is one of the commonest signs of anxiety. The discomfort—or if it is more severe, the pain—is very similar in nature to the pain of peptic ulcer except that the pain of nervous dyspepsia tends to be associated with emotional stress whereas ulcer pain is more clearly related to food intake. A mild persistent gnawing discomfort in the upper abdomen is often a symptom of chronic anxiety. This is frequently interrupted by intervals of more acute discomfort as the sufferer is subjected to periods of greater stress. Sometimes it is expressed as a feeling of a void or emptiness in the stomach. Other people react with acute upper abdominal discomfort to any sudden anxiety. They describe it by saying, “It gets me in the stomach.” It came quite suddenly, “almost as if someone kicked me there.” Other people experience anxiety as a sensation of “butterflies in the stomach,” or a feeling that “the stomach turns over.”

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